You Never Know
by enchanted-mind
Summary: If Alice and I were never meant to be, why were we pushed together in the first place? A story of cruel twists of fate, emotional endurance, and a love that can rise above it all... Or can it? My own Alice and Jasper story. Rewritten. Canon.
1. Serving Major Whitlock

**A/N:** Re-written, but not at all lost, _You Never Know_ is going to be reposted (for the last time, hopefully).  
For those of you who have read the story, it is much different from the previous edits, but not so that the true meaning has been distorted. If you wish to read along again, the story does contain a whole lot of new dialogue and action. Even some major plot events have altered. For those who are watching me and have no interest in reading this again, feel free to remove me from your watch list so you don't get a bunch of useless update messages (because we know this is an epic).

And for anyone new to the story, there are a few things you need to know:  
- **Bella is not here** yet, this is **pre-Twilight** (hence no Nessie or wolves). It is** AU**. It's set _approximately_ 10 years before Twilight.  
- Alice is **human**  
- **Rosalie and Jasper** are biologically **brother and sister, but not really twins**.  
- **Canon couples**

**NB: **I am Australian. I spell like an Australian, not like an American.

You can view the banner I made for the fanfic here (remove spaces) - http : / / 1. bp . blogspot . com / -8TRvnBFGRVg/T6C8ohSZuVI/AAAAAAAAApA/gwqzPg1h4Fs/s1600/YNK9_

Enjoy the bumpy ride!

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** 1. Serving Major Whitlock**

"A food critic," I replied.

Rosalie grimaced, showing her distaste with a pronounced frown. "Yuck."

Emmett, on the other hand, laughed. "Good one."

"I could make a career out of it," I reasoned. "Thanks to Edward."

Edward, who was sitting opposite me in the booth, smiled sarcastically and went back to reading the minds of those in the restaurant with a stern expression.

Earlier in the day, he and Emmett had gotten into a friendly brawl at school which resulted in a brick wall cracking on impact and Edward walking away unscathed. According to him, the strange display had caused suspicion among our peers and we needed to quell them. So, we were making a show of eating in public to promote our humanity.

Simply, it was an attempt to take care of a _small_ mess we had made without having to concern Carlisle and Esme with moving. Again.

Why I _had to_ join them wasn't quite clear though. I'd figured that since Emmett and Edward were at fault, they should have been the ones to fix the situation. Apparently, though, it needed to be a group effort.

If it had been the first time we had needed to eat in front of humans, I would have obliged without question. However, Edward had dragged us all out to eat seven times in the last few months without a good reason.

Then, I found out that it was mostly payback for rearranging his CD collection.

So, in response to his childish antics, Emmett and I devised a counterattack. At eight o'clock, we were expecting Holly Mitchell, a cheerleader from school and Edward's surprise blind date, to show up and eat dinner with us. Edward, of course, had no idea of what we had planned because he was too preoccupied with making sure our cover hadn't been blown.

"I think it's working," Edward said, shifting his eyes blankly to the table top in front of him. "The group from school over there have noticed us and they have pretty much forgotten what happened today."

"They're not going to forget about you flying into a brick wall and then walking away casually," Rosalie snapped, folding her arms. "No matter how stupid they are."

His back straightened defensively at her tone. "It wasn't just _my_ fault," he replied, pointing with a finger across the table. "Em was the one who pushed me."

Emmett reached over and slapped his accusing hand down. "We were engaging in a fight, young Eddie. That's what happens."

"You can't fight that hard in public!"

"What can I say? I didn't know you'd go flying with one hit – you're weaker than you look."

Rosalie sniggered appreciatively.

Holly the cheerleader appeared outside in the parking lot at that moment, and made her way through the front doors of the restaurant.

"Incoming," I groaned.

"Pardon me, Jazz?" Edward asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

Emmett and I shared a knowing grin, probably allowing all thoughts relating to the plan to run through our heads simultaneously. Keeping it a secret for the day had been no easy feat.

"This is not a joking matter," Edward almost growled when he realised we'd set up another date for him. "And consorting with a human is the last thing we should be doing!"

"_Consorting_?" I repeated, his choice of words too strange for me to pass up. "Really?"

"Edward," Emmett said, demanding his attention. "_Consorting_ with a human is the best thing to do in this situation - it will make us seem more normal if we're mixing with them."

That was possibly the most intelligent thing Emmett said all night.

"_Straighten up_," I hissed before Edward had time to respond. Holly had just been sent in our direction by the maître D and Edward, I knew, needed to compose himself in order to greet her like a 'proper gentleman'.

He did what he thought he should, sliding out of the booth to greet her and pretend that he was nervous about being on a date with such a popular cheerleader. We passed around formal hellos and friendly smiles before they took their seats opposite me.

I clenched my teeth shut so as to stop anymore air entering my lungs.

Edward diverted his attention elsewhere then, smugness radiating off him as a plan to make the night torturous brewed in his head. "What are you ordering, Rose?" he asked innocently.

She answered characteristically curtly, "Nothing. I'm on a diet: no eating for three days."

Emmett cleared his throat dramatically. "Ah, yes," he added, making a show of sucking in his stomach. "I too am watching my clothes line and cannot eat... Ever."

Rose stopped a giggle escaping with a small noise, and then threw a fist into Emmett's bicep, trying to hide her smile. I, too, held back a laugh.

Holly just lowered her brow critically at us.

Edward, too, wasn't very amused. He kicked me under the table and I lowered my head so Holly wouldn't realise that we were mocking regular conversations from the cheerleaders' lunch table at school. He scowled lowly at the replays in my head.

"Alright then, let's see..." Emmett mused, running a finger down the dishes on the menu. "Hmm..."

Holly also reached for a menu and began to scan the list.

It simply reminded me that I hadn't yet picked my form of torture for the evening. Would I dare order a rare steak, and risk the chance of it being difficult to _dispose of_ at the end of the night, or would I order something safe but disgusting, like spaghetti?

Edward looked at me then and smirked. I didn't understand what he was so happy about since he was going to have to eat the food too. His smugness, I'm sure now, was partly due to the fact that he knew he was the only one of us who could sit next to a human quite effortlessly. I was the worst offender of them all, unable to even hold basic conversations with humans as my thoughts often became overrun by the desire for blood. Everybody knew it, though no one would say it to my face. I practically had a big 'F' printed on my forehead for Cullenism.

Edward kicked my leg under the table for thinking that.

Emmett lowered his menu to the tabletop. Seemingly no longer on his failed-before-I-even-opened-my-mouth diet, he said, "Well… _I_ am going to have the chicken schnitzel." Then he, noticeably, began reading the list again. "Minus the salad and the fries..." he mumbled.

I had let Emmett find out the hard way about fries a few weeks prior.

Sure enough, Holly screwed up her nose at the strange eating habit. "No salad? Why?"

My burly brother put on a haughty smile and leant up against the back of the booth. She leaned her body an inch further from him instinctively. "I need as much protein without anything else that could compromise it," he explained, being sure to flex his muscles apparently inconspicuously. "Besides, who wants rabbit-food?"

He continued rambling on, sounding like a complete idiot. He spoke blindly of vitamins and minerals, and how they can compromise one another, and none of us had any interest to call his bluff. His 'health talk' impressed the brainless Holly nonetheless.

Rosalie, on the other hand, seemed to lose more and more composure with Emmett's every word. With a little of my expertise, she managed to hide the smile. She mouthed a quick thankyou over the table.

"When is the stupid waiter going to come?" Holly whined. "I'm starving."

Edward raised his hand and clicked to summon a waiter. Nobody came at first, and I looked back behind me to see whose attention Edward had been wanting. I saw a few waitresses and a few waiters, but they were all busy. The restaurant was nearly full of patrons.

Nobody was even close to our table.

_Take as long as you want_, I thought to myself.

Suddenly my phone began to vibrate in my pocket, and I glanced down at my lap to read the message. It was a chain text from Peter with a long, crude joke about civil war veterans. I began to examine it when Edward coughed into our silence, indicating that he wanted my attention.

"I thought you turned that off..." he scolded like an old man.

I shrugged, not confident enough to open my mouth and allow air in, and turned back to the message.

"Buona sera. My name is Alice and I'll be your server for this evening. Are you ready to order?" a waitress politely asked from the head of the table. I didn't bother looking up, though that was highly rude on my behalf; the joke Peter sent had unexpectedly turned into a riddle that I needed to solve for the sake of my sanity.

Holly, after the invitation, was first to order. "What do you have..." she'd said, enunciating her words very clearly. I peered up at her from across the table and saw he running her finger down the menu dismissively, "...that has no fat, no sugar, or carbs?"

I waited with my head bowed to see how the waitress would react.

"Is this a test?" the waitress asked incredulously.

Holly clucked her tongue lightly and shook her head.

The waitress took a moment to answer, taking in quite a large breath in between. I could feel her strong efforts to calm herself starting to taking over. "You mean nothing with any nutritional benefit?" she pondered aloud, mocking a deep thought process. "Nothing."

Emmett coughed instantly, not managing to choke back his glee.

I automatically turned a fraction to catch a glimpse of her. Without question, no matter how obviously wrong it may be, I definitely liked what I saw and was thoroughly impressed.

The small girl had a very triumphant, almost secretively wicked smirk playing on her shapely lips. She dropped her head to look at the palm sized electronic menu in her hand.

"And I half expected you to say water," Holly remarked through an open mouth.

Alice jerked her head back to Holly and feigned a smile. "Water keeps you alive, which means that it's good for you. I believe you were asking for something that has no nutritional value," she quipped, raising her stylus off the electronic menu fractionally. "Would you like to order now, or do you need a few more minutes to decide...?"

Rosalie cut in before Holly could bite back. "I think we need a few more minutes," my sister suggested.

Alice's lips turned into a soft smile, diminishing any trace of bitterness, and acknowledged Rosalie. "_Certo_ – of course," she replied, dipping her head politely. Then she walked off to another table. I noticed, as she walked away, her car keys half hanging unprofessionally out of her back pocket. They were for a Porsche.

I hadn't noticed a decent car on the way in but, sure enough, when I looked, it was parked right out the front of the restaurant.

It was an older model, classic shape and a deep maroon colour.

I must have an unconsciously indicated my approval because, all of a sudden, Emmett stood up.

He looked over the top of all the other booths, trying to follow my line of sight. He chuckled. "Nice spotting, bro."

I turned to him, quizzical at his tone, and, warily, noticed he wasn't looking into the parking lot like I had been.

Forgetting that I needed to keep my mouth shut for the safety of everyone, I snapped to defend myself. "No. Emmett. _No_. I was _not_ looking at the waitress!"

His face became suddenly appalled, and teasing drenched his tone. "Were you looking at the _waiter_?"

I swallowed my response, suddenly realising that the scents of the humans around us were settling on my tongue. Someone nearby had a very, very sweet and tantalising scent. I clenched my jaw in response and turned back to my phone, trying to distract myself from the venom pooling in my mouth and the fact that everything was starting to turn a dangerous grey colour.

I could sense Holly's unease at my strange lack of response, but I could do nothing to squash it in fragile my state.

"Jazz...?" Rosalie began, looking at me carefully.

Using a technique that Edward had taught me, I counted backwards from 100 in a fraction of a second to get my mind to focus. When I had returned to a semi-healthy mindset, I determined that I had enough air left in my lungs to let out a small statement. "There's a Porsche in the parking lot," I said quickly and quietly, opening my mouth as little as possible.

"That's nice," my sister replied nonchalantly, trying to draw an end to the conversation for my sake. It worked.

Edward cut in, "Do you guys know what you're going to order yet?"

"Chicken schnitzel..." Emmett's replied like a three year old. "How many times do I have to tell you?"

Edward ignored him and looked pointedly at Rosalie, narrowing his eyes in a warning as she opened her mouth. It was supposed to mean that she would not get away with not eating. So she cocked an eyebrow, picked up the menu and muttered, "Spaghetti."

Before Edward could turn to me, Alice appeared at the head of the table. "Are you right to order now?" she inquired politely.

She had her equipment ready and an inviting expression on her face.

"I'll have the Caesar salad, without the mayo," Holly ordered, like a royal to a servant. "And make sure the croûtons are not fried or cooked in butter."

The waitress nodded her head silently and took down the order.

"I'll have the mushroom ravioli," Edward added.

She nodded again, scribbling the information down. Then she turned to Rosalie.

"Spaghetti," my sister requested, "and no sauce, please."

"Chicken schnitzel minus the salad and fries," Emmett boomed, sounding like a five year old proud of himself for ordering the food of his choice.

"Okay…" Alice agreed with a sort of sceptical edge to her voice. She looked over at me when I didn't respond instantly. "And for you?"

"Uh," I fumbled, trying to remember what I had chosen in the first place. I dove for my discarded menu and read over it, mortified that my memory was failing me. That was when I had to awkwardly flip it to re-read the correct way up. She smiled encouragingly at me, at my clumsiness, but never did pity me. "Spaghetti," I finally mumbled. "Hold the sauce."

That sweet scent was hers. I could taste it.

Without a doubt, it had to be the sweetest I had ever come across.

She nodded infinitesimally. "Alright…" she concluded, finalising the order. "And would you like anything to drink yet?" She looked around the booth at anyone who would volunteer the order.

Since no one answered her, Alice, rightfully, took our lack of response as a _no_ and began to walk away. Only, Holly didn't let that happen.

"Excuse me," she seethed. Alice stopped in her place, her car keys making an audible jingling sound. "_I_ would like a drink."

The waitress simply turned, smiled again and waited for Holly to make her order.

"Water," the cheerleader said. "And no ice. Make sure it's not tap water."

She made the note with a simple click of the stylus. "It shouldn't be long. I'll bring the drinks around first."

Ever so swiftly, far swifter than I, she picked up the menus and carried them off toward the kitchen.

Holly excused herself after Alice, a little more politely than what we were sure she was capable of, and left the table to the bathroom. She, I later overheard, was making a call to her friends to inform them about how lousy of a date Edward Cullen was already shaping up to be.

The moment Holly was out of ear-shot, they all turned to me. "Are you okay?" Rosalie asked me, leaning forward in her seat.

The vent on the ceiling above us managed to blow away the scent of humans from the table, and so I was able to safely inhale after a few seconds.

Emmett laughed. "Oh, he is _fine_," he sang, a proud smile playing on his lips. "I cannot believe that I didn't see it before."

"See _what_?" she replied.

His smile turned wicked as he folded his arms casually. "Why did you _suddenly_ point out the Porsche before?" he asked me.

I narrowed my eyes, unsure of where his train of thought was headed. "Because I saw it in the parking lot...?"

"Do you know who it belongs to?"

"Yeah - the waitress."

"Correct," he cried, pointing an accusatory finger at me. "And how do you _know_ that?"

I paused. "I saw her keys."

Emmett nodded again, and raised his brows amusedly. "And where were her keys?"

"In her pocket..."

"In her _back_ pocket. Dude, you were checking out her ass."

I heard Edward smirk quietly and looked at him to find him grinning childishly.

"I was not checking her out, Emmett," I said firmly. "Don't be disrespectful."

"Oh really?" he replied, cocking a brow. "Then what was that reading-the-menu-upside-down stunt you just pulled? I haven't even seen Eddie do that before, and he's more squeamish around girls than you are."

That part, I couldn't deny. I had fumbled like an idiot in front of her, and I had no clue why. Sure, she was an attractive girl, but I hadn't been paying a whole lot of attention to the fact.

Not consciously, anyway.

"She's coming back," Edward muttered when Alice began to make her way over to our table.

We sat in silence as her light footsteps approached.

Emmett took the remaining seconds we had to tell me that he thought I should try to hit on her.

"No. Just _no_."

"Come on! All you have to do is push your napkin to the floor... or knock your fork. Then she'll have to come and pick it up for you – that's her job..."

"No, Emmett," I hissed.

At that moment, Alice stopped at the end of the table, a round tray of empty glasses at her hip. She obviously had heard our harsh whispers to one another, and was suddenly very uncomfortable at having to interrupt our strange scene.

She presented the tray laden with drinks. "Your drinks are ready," she explained quietly, probably unsure if we would snap at her.

She took them off one by one, placing the empty glass in front of me with a chilled bottle of water in the centre.

"Thank you," Edward offered on behalf of us.

Alice gave a quick, small curve of the lips and hurried off.

I held my breath as the breeze after her drifted past me.

When he was sure she was not coming back, Emmett nudged my shoulder with his fist. "You just missed your chance! What is wrong with you?"

"You're insane, right?" I retorted.

"She's smart," he simply said. "You like _smart_. What's a little fun for the evening...?"

I drew the line at innocent people, especially when simply talking to them could result in me pouncing. "No! Not. Going. To. Happen." Not wanting to give them all the satisfaction of my obvious disapproval, I turned my head to watch the rest of the restaurant.

From my seat, I could see the moon over the rippling lake outside, a young child flailing his food in every direction with the swing of a fork, and Alice talking to one of the other diners. The man had tersely asked for a refill of the jug of soda for his children and Alice had taken the jug in her hands. Even from my seat I could detect a hint of sadness on her face that his tone had caused. She walked away.

On her way to the kitchen, Alice passed another waitress stacking dirty dishes off a table. Suddenly a glass cup fell and she bent down, backwards slightly, to single-handedly catch it. She put it back on the other waitress' stack of dishes. "Careful Gabriella - _Boss_ doesn't like broken cups."

Someone else a few tables down summoned her attention then and she moved towards the couple.

"Right, Jazz?" Emmett pleaded, breaking my train of thought.

I turned my head back around to my family. Emmett was practically begging with his puppy dog eyes for my support on something. I'd learned over the years to always plead ignorant, no matter what the conversation turned to. So I raised my hands, promoting innocence. "Don't bring _me_ into this."

"This was your stupid dare too?" Rosalie almost snarled.

"I know nothing," I reiterated.

"Jasper, if you don't start backing me up, you will regret it..." Emmett threatened.

I just turned back out to the mess of diners, unperturbed by his supposed anger.

Alice was nowhere to be seen. I looked back behind me, I looked over at the bar, and I looked out in front of me, but I couldn't see her. Upon realising how strangely insistent I was to find her, I quit searching and simply stared out the window at the front of the building.

Eventually, my family stopped throwing taunts at one another and resigned to the fact that we still had to get through a meal accompanied by human. No amount of name calling was going to change that. Their frustration, then, managed to amplify itself in the silence.

Holly returned to the table during our silence, much to Rosalie and Emmett's dismay.

"Ugh," the human groaned. "Still no food?"

Edward shuffled over to his left to allow her more room to sit. "It's coming," he soothed.

As if on cue, Alice appeared at the head of the table, her hands loaded with plates. "Caesar salad, minus the mayonnaise…" she said as she placed Holly's dish in front of her.

I made sure to hold my breath again.

Holly scrutinised the pile of leaves. "Did you make sure the croûtons-?"

"They're just grilled," Alice snapped without letting her finish. "Mushroom ravioli… and chicken schnitzel minus the salad and fries..." She chewed on the inside of her mouth discretely as she placed the meals down to stop her amusement from making itself public.

Then she dashed off to retrieve the remaining food.

"She'd better not be lying…" Holly threatened as she examined a crouton with her fork.

"She can't lie to a customer," Edward reminded her, only beating me to the gesture by a fraction of a second.

He looked at me, lowering his brow quizzically.

Alice returned. "And… spaghetti minus the sauce…" she counted, bending fragilely over the length of the table and placing one dish in front of Rosalie. The second plate went to me. "Buon appetito – enjoy!" she said, and with one last mandatory smile, she ducked off graciously.

_Enjoy – yeah right_.

"Just wait for the aftermath…" Emmett grumbled low enough so the human couldn't hear. Rosalie sighed in response, no doubt visualising the same thing.

It took far too many theatrical mouthfuls and parental prompts from Edward before the spaghetti began to disappear from my plate. I did what I could to help promote my status as a normal, hungry teenager, but the human food sitting in my stomach did not help. On top of that, my discomfort was the result of everyone's unease multiplied together.

Fed up with the evening's turn of events, and lack of stimulating conversation, I dropped the fork in my hand, and slouched against the back of the seat. I hadn't eaten a convincing amount of pasta, but I knew that I had hit my limit for the evening. Edward sent me an irritated glance after eyeing the large portion of food left on my plate, but I chose to blatantly ignore him by letting my mind drift over the happenings of the restaurant.

Once again, Alice caught my wandering attention.

She was clearing the dishes to a table where a happy family sat, all cheery as the little boy prattled to her about it being his fifth birthday. She complied and enthusiastically asked about any presents he had received and details about the party. The parents were very at ease with her and when they asked for some coffee she, of course, courteously complied and left them all smiling.

It was about there that I found myself semi-consciously observing her body. She was very petite, no taller than five foot two inches, and very delicately built. Her cheekbones were prominent, but it was hard to know if that was a genetic quirk or the result of an unhealthy diet. Upon realising exactly what I was thinking, I switched to noting the way she just flowed through the crowds like a dancer.

Rosalie gave up on her meal too and pushed the bowl away with a huff of disgust. When I turned my head to catch a glimpse of her, I saw that Emmett, also, was no more than a mouthful away from imitating her.

His facial expression only reminded me of what was sitting in my stomach, and suddenly I felt like I wanted to call the evening to an end and run to the nearest secluded spot. The more I thought about disposing of the food, the more I wanted to do it. I knew that I couldn't at that moment, and so the panic began to set in. I knew there would be little I could do to control myself or anyone else if I let it get out of hand. So, desperately, I tried to find something that would otherwise entertain me.

I watched Alice appear from the kitchen, balancing a piece of cake and two cups of coffee. She danced over to the table with the birthday boy and placed the cake in front of him, and with surprised prompts from his parents, the little boy mustered a sincere thank you. She handed over two spoons, "Maybe you might like to share with your brother." As Alice leaned over to distribute the coffee, she whispered to the parents, "It's on the house," and gave a small wink.

One of the young waiters came up behind her then, and poked her in the lower back to grab her attention.

"Alice?" he said, pulling her away casually from the table. "Are you closing _again_ tonight?"

I listened out intently for her response over the myriads of other conversations in the room.

"Yeah," she replied with a light laugh. "Why?"

He crossed his arms. "Didn't you work until closing yesterday?"

She nodded.

"Two late shifts in a row… Wow. You definitely work too much."

"I need the money,"

He scoffed. "Says the girl with the Porsche parked out front…"

Alice just laughed, dismissing his comment, and went back to running around with the other waiters and waitresses.

They all moved in what appeared to be a frenzy, but every movement was purposeful. Some carried food, some seated customers, while others collected plates and took orders. The middle-aged man who had been rude to Alice earlier tried to unsuccessfully grab someone's attention as they all scurried around him. Luckily for her, Alice had walked far away enough to avoid being accosted by him again. She was strolling through the main seating area, on the lower portion of the floor, stopping every now and then to ask if the food was pleasing, when I spotted her again. She caught me looking at her after talking to one customer and dipped her head respectfully with a soft smile.

_Damn it_, I'd cursed, _I got caught_. I didn't even have the decency to return the expression, as I should have done out of politeness.

Alice didn't take the smile off her face as she changed her course to walk along the wall of booths leisurely. She concerned herself professionally about the food with every second or so table, slowly making her way over towards us. I couldn't keep watching when she was just two booths away, and so I pretended to have been absorbed by what was happening at our table.

"Jasper," Emmett whispered, elbowing me gently. "She's coming back. Talk to her!"

I shook my head furiously at him. "No!"

He shook his head in mock disappointment, and, then grabbed my fork and knocked it to the floor beside me. I reacted after the fact and, subsequently, saw it land on the floor in Alice's path. Only, from her perspective, it looked like I had dropped it.

Naturally, as Emmett planned, she came to pick it up. I threw a fist into his bicep as she bent down, mouthing the words "_you'll pay_" to him.

Then Alice stood upright, professionally composing herself.

"I'll get you a new one..." she offered hastily, beginning to turn away.

"Uhh... That won't be necessary," I corrected, saving her from an extra trip. "We're finished."

Emmett tried his best to quell his sudden elation, seeing his plan come into fruition, but he had to kick me excitedly under the table to help contain himself.

"Oh, alright then," Alice replied happily. "I'll take the plates." She placed the fork into my discarded bowl and then leant over to grab Rosalie's upon request. "Was everything to your satisfaction?" she inquired.

"Oh, yeah…" Emmett answered.

"Excellent," she crooned, and then hurried off with her full hands.

Holly began to collect up her belongings, shoving everything clumsily into her handbag. "Excuse me," she said, rushing off to the bathroom again.

The rest of us waited for Alice to return so we could leave in a timely fashion. But, apparently merely talking to Alice was not enough for Emmett's liking; he then picked up my glass and threw its remaining contents on me.

Edward groaned. Rosalie gasped.

I was too stunned to retort.

Emmett smiled. "Now you have to talk with her... You'll have to ask for a towel or something... Maybe she'll even take you out back without your shirt and-"

"What is wrong with you?" I cried.

"You'll thank me one day, little brother..."

I wiped as much water from my face as I could, trying to minimise the damage before Alice returned. She appeared from behind me moments later, and began to clear off the remaining plates. When she took hold of Emmett's plate, he spoke to her. "Excuse me, miss," he said. "Do you have a spare towel for him? He had a little accident..."

I could have flattened him for his choice of words.

She turned her head to me then and noticed the 'accident' Emmett had referred too.

Quizzically, she calculated the basic laws of physics in her head and then realised quite speedily that I most likely was not the cause of it.

"Oh! Of course, here," she said, taking a cloth from her apron, "use this. It's clean."

I took it from her, careful not to brush up against her in any way. "Thank you," I said, wiping the side of my face. Just as I was about to ask whether or not she knew what it was like to have a brother like mine, Edward cut in.

"Can we have the bill please?" he asked, a little more forcefully than what was necessary.

"Of course," Alice sang and glided away with the outstanding plates.

I used the cloth she gave me to dab the droplets off my face and upper arm. Luckily there had been less than half a cup of water to begin with.

When she came back, Edward closed the bill slip with a snap, after putting in the _exact_ amount required. He handed it directly to Alice. She took it, and Edward hurriedly pointed Holly, who had just returned from the bathroom, in the direction of the door.

"Buona serata – have a nice night," Alice wished kindly, despite knowing she had made no quantifiable profit from being polite to us. She began to stack up the glasses as we piled out of the seating arrangement, with the bill safely tucked into her apron. I, apparently being the gentleman of us all, left a hundred dollar note on the table.

She had earned it, after all.

I walked out behind Rosalie and Emmett, ignoring the whispers as we passed, and when he wasn't expecting it, I pushed him into the bushes in the parking lot.

* * *

Thanks for reading, and I hope you liked it :) As always, reviews are much appreciated!


	2. Is It 'Pick on Jasper' Day?

**A/N:** I just wanted to thank you all (especially all the returning readers) for your support with this story. Your reviews mean so much to me, and the fact that you're reading the story means so much more. I hope you enjoy the next chapter:

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Holly, we discovered, had not driven herself to the restaurant that evening, and so when it came time to leave, it became our obligation to make sure she arrived home safely.

Emmett, Rose and I sat across the back seat of the Mercedes, counting down the milliseconds until the human would be delivered home. Given what had transpired that evening, Rosalie chose to sit in between Emmett and I, while I ended up sitting directly behind our driver.

After one too many suspicious glances Edward threw at me in the mirror, I seriously contemplated "accidentally" telling Emmett exactly what Holly was feeling as she thought about Edward. The merciless ribbing would have both wiped the strange expression off his face and served as partial payment for his lack of help that evening.

Emmett heaved a sigh, only beating me to the gesture. To pass the agonisingly slow time, I began making a checklist of the things we drove past.

_Tree. Shrub. Tree. Traffic light. Car. Tree. Car. Building. Car._

_The river. _

It was exceptionally picturesque that night. The reflection of the white and yellow overhead lights sparkled along the rippling water, amorphous, as we moved alongside it. The colours broke into shards of silver and gold along the uneven black surface and made a whole bright city of indecipherable lights, dancing and glistening to a timeless rhythm all of its own.

Looking at the water emphasised that my shirt was still damp and how, on top of that, it was lightly coated in _her_ sweet scent from the towel.

That realisation naturally led me to think of Alice. She had been one of the few humans who had not gawked or gone visibly blank upon approaching us for the first time. I suspected that being able to do that was part of her job description, but I thought she had been flawless at it. It was a nice change to the immature teenagers we spent a portion of our week with.

Edward threw me another _odd_ glance in the mirror.

When we pulled up to the human's house, Holly and Edward got out and walked to her front door, slamming the car doors behind them. Emmett proceeded to follow their trend but only got out to move into the front seat, and Rosalie slid over into his spot.

Holly peered over her shoulder at the sound of the car doors opening again, her gaze landing on Emmett taking her seat. He grinned back at her. "'Night, Holly," he called. I laughed quietly at the confused look she gave him and then at the wave Emmett offered. She responded quizzically with a wave of her hand too but didn't say anything.

We listened to Edward and Holly talking, hearing exactly what we would expect of our supposed gentleman of a brother. He was trying to let her down easily, with mannerisms that a sixteenth century prince would use. My guess, based on her squeamishness throughout the night, was that Holly was hoping to do the very same thing before he'd even begun talking.

Emmett laughed again as Edward threw us a scathing look over his shoulder from the door.

"Well looky here," Emmett began, making a show of settling into the back of his seat, "...Even Eddie knows how to do this stuff... Seriously, Jazzy, you're being shown up by him!" He turned around to look at me. "Are you seeing a problem?"

"I'm not talking to you," I simply responded childishly.

"Oh, come now," Emmett said. "You'll thank me for it one day."

"For which part?" I snapped, crossing my arms. "The part where you threw water on me, or the part where I had to scramble to redeem myself?"

He screwed up his nose and nodded at his lack of finesse. "Well, okay," he conceded. "Maybe she wasn't the one... But, Holly may have potential. I could help you out with that - I'll text her your number and everything!"

"How thoughtful of you," I sarcastically quipped. Then he proceeded to pull out his phone. Whether it was for kicks, or for real, I still don't know, but my teeth could have snapped at the pressure I was putting on them. I'd even snarled. "Emmett, don't be a-"

"So, Jasper..." Edward crooned, sliding into the driver's seat. He shut the door and started the ignition. "What was going on with you tonight?"

Emmett instantly dove for the radio and turned it on, comically slapping Edward's hand away as he also tried to change the station. Edward gave up quickly, turned the car around and drove back towards our house.

"Oh great," I'd grumbled. "Are you and Emmett working in cahoots on this?"

Emmett swivelled around in his seat instantly and raised a brow at me.

I tried to shoot him the best death glare that I could muster, but, unfortunately, given the circumstances, it only added to his amusement. I turned to Edward instead. "If you work it out, let me know."

He looked at me in the rear-view mirror, giving me clear sight of the evil that gleamed in his eyes. He grinned immaturely. "I didn't think anyone could top Emmett with thoughts like _that_..."

Rosalie's shriek escaped her mouth before she had the chance to cover it.

"Ha, trust me," I retorted. "_You_ proved it was possible this evening... In this very car."

"Jasper, that's _disturbing_," Emmett complained.

I shrugged, content with my position on higher ground over Edward. "No less true."

Edward, naturally, disagreed. "I do believe that there is _no way_ I could have topped your thoughts..."

"I'll say," Emmett interjected. "I doubt that you, little Ed, actually know what being _turned on_ is."

Rose and I cracked up laughing. Emmett joined us after a slight delay.

But, Edward was determined to win the pathetic battle against me. "So on a scale of one to ten, Jazz," he said after our laughter died down, "what would you have given Alice? A fifteen?"

"Excuse _me_?" I choked.

Edward straightened himself up in his seat. "You thought she was beautiful."

There was a confused silence all around until Emmett piped up again. "Ah, the terminology these days is _hot_. With three Ts. You are never going to get a girl with that Jane Austen crap you pull..." he turned the volume of the music down a notch. "On the other hand, is what he said true, Jasper?"

They all turned to look at me.

"What is this?" I snapped. "_Pick on Jasper day_?" I clenched my fists.

Edward mocked innocence at me, shaking his head quickly. I gave up trying to outdo him through Emmett's chortle distorted comments and slumped against the seat. _Winning the battle was never going to happen_, I'd thought, _my thoughts probably were worse than what anybody else had contemplated_.

"Okay, okay," Edward defended, breaking our silence. "Jasper wasn't really thinking like that... I'm sorry, Jasper, for saying such a thing."

"I really didn't think that sounded like something Jazz would do..." Rosalie thought aloud. She reached over and touched my forearm in reassurance.

I looked at her hand. "Why didn't you say that earlier?" I grumbled.

"Now I'm lost," Emmett declared. "In so many words, were you-" he turned to look at me, "well, I mean... Did you-"

Edward saved me from answering. "No, Em. He didn't."

I ran my hand across my face as if I were wiping it, trying _not_ to leak my frustration.

"Ha! She did, didn't _she_?" Emmett howled out of nowhere. His eyes flicked to me quickly then back to Edward where he seemed to silently push for more information.

Edward fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat, "She di- Not in so many words..." he said to Emmett. Then he paused. "It's not my place to say... It never was. I shouldn't have said anything..."

"What's not your place to say?" I pressed, leaning forward into the space over the console.

Edward just shook his head at us, his pleading audience, and went back to looking at the road, pressing his mouth into a hard line.

_Edward, come on, you've already had half the conversation with Emmett. Aren't I entitled to know what you are saying about me? Spill it._

He simply ignored me, not even indicating that he had heard my plea.

I sighed and retired back to my seat.

Though the evening had not been particularly strange, or standout, I believed it would become a memorable one courtesy of Emmett. I didn't think that was cause enough for them to continue a conversation about one particular human, though. Normally, we did our best to move on from them and not dwell on anything related to the species that we once belonged to. After all, Edward had dated and dined with Holly the cheerleader, and nobody had mentioned her since we dropped her home.

Alice, on the other hand, had been brought up twice on the ride back alone.

I didn't understand why, either. It was not as if she had been unusually sour toward us, or extraordinarily clumsy. In fact, she had been one of the few humans who managed to flawlessly compose herself upon first meeting us. Apart from that, she hadn't behaved in any way strange enough for us to distinctly remember her.

Come the end of the week, I'd confidently assumed, she would probably never cross my mind again...

How wrong I had been.

By the time I started to think about other various things, like the tuning my car needed, I found myself sprawled along my sofa with some music playing, throwing and catching a tennis ball. It was only the soft knock on my door that brought my mind back into pure reality.

I rolled my head to get a visual on the intruder. "Come in."

Edward opened the door and stepped over the threshold into my room. "Jasper," he said. "I'm sorry for what I said in the car, for offending you. It was insensitive and rude. I shouldn't have said anything..."

I held the ball still and propped myself up on my elbows. There was no fault in his sincerity that I could detect but there was a slight edge of unease in his posture. In a fleeting thought, I wondered if he thought I was going to bite his head off, given my earlier mood.

"Ah, no. Not exactly..." Edward explained in response.

I attributed his discomfort, then, to the fact that I had been excessively snappy and he had prepared himself for a blasting. Overreacting on my behalf did seem like a possibility when I thought about how high my defences were in the car. "You're forgiven."

He returned my expression, and relaxed a great deal more. "I thought that you should probably know that you're not failing at this - I heard what you were thinking at the restaurant. We all have trouble now and again..."

Then the edginess crept back into his stance.

I sighed, ignoring his recycled pep talk. "What did you really come here to say, Edward?"

He looked back up at me, the floorboards beneath him seemingly no longer entertainment enough. "In response to what you asked of me on the way home-"

I cut him off short with my hand. "I honestly don't want to know," I told him. I did _not_ need to know what warped ideas Emmett had tried to instil in Edward's mind about me, nor did I need to hear yet another lust-filled, teenage girl story.

He nodded, seemingly understanding, but not able to hide the sudden curiosity.

I warily shifted back to lying across the sofa, legs swinging over the far armrest, and proceeded with my catching session. I figured the formal part of the conversation had been dealt with and I could go back to relaxing.

"You know... Alice actually guessed quite a bit about us..." Edward hinted, almost with a touch of dislike in his tone.

I sat up slightly and paused. "How much did she guess?"

"Relax," he said. "Not _that_ much. It was more general conclusions, like us having to deal with our own forms of hardship..." He trailed off, leaving out the rest of the story. "_She_ at least was... _kind_ enough to put more than half a mind into the job she was being payed to do, which is more than I can say about the rest of the staff."

"Which is why you didn't tip her...?" I fell back again into an uninterested slouch, threw the ball up, and then caught it coming down. _I don't know what you're trying to prove here, Edward, but you're starting to sound a little strange. As in, Emmett kind of strange…_

He inhaled sharply and eyed me after my observation. "Can I ask you something?" he said very quietly, closing the door a behind him.

I shrugged, giving him the go-ahead signal.

His voice came out very low and quiet, and he scrutinised me very carefully as he spoke. "You... aren't actually...? I mean, you weren't really taking... an _interest_ in Alice, were you?"

I shook my head at him quizzically. _Interested in a human? Me? Are you crazy?_

"Because it would be utterly insane," he added nervously.

"Geez, Edward," I groaned. "She wasn't bad on the eyes, but that's about it. Relax."

He smiled, oddly relieved. "Good," he praised.

There it was again, yet another mention of Alice. It should have alarmed me that both of my brothers were making a point of reminding me about someone that we had only met mere hours beforehand, but I was too ignorant to think any more of it. I couldn't imagine a realistic reason as to why they would be so insistent, and so I placed it down to a childish bet that they must have had running.

A moment later, Emmett shouted at him from downstairs, instructing him to hurry up and get to the "important bit" in our conversation.

At his insistence, Edward's mischievous side grew. "She favoured you the most out of us all..." he blurted suddenly.

Suppressing a sigh, but not audibly enough, I responded. "And how much of that favouring was just lust? Emmett? Any ideas?"

Emmett appeared by his side a split second later. "Why won't you just own the fact that she thought you were _hot_?"

"With three Ts?" I mocked.

"Maybe _five_, according to Edward..."

"Wow," I sat up again. "Lucky me..."

We, as vampires, had learned to simply accept the fact that we appealed to humans on a first-glance-only basis. It wasn't often that we took to mocking one another about the fact though.

Rosalie conveniently walked past my open door at that moment.

Emmett turned to her. "No girls allowed," he said. "We're having a man-to-man." Then he took a step into my room and shut the door.

"What are you two still doing in here then?" I retorted.

"Hey," Emmett chastised. "I don't know about Edward, but _I_ have balls. You can just ask your sister." He stopped himself from continuing, biting on his lower lip to stop the words spilling out. It was reminiscent of a five year old desperate to tell a secret he knew. Predictably, he exploded. "And apparently you do too because-" Edward threw a warning punch into his bicep, but it didn't deter Emmett. "Edward said that she _sized_ you up!"

"Alright! That's enough..." I grumbled, throwing the ball into my other hand. "Why are you making a big deal about nothing?" I asked them, completely astounded that they were being so persistent.

"You call _that_ nothing?" Emmett asked incredulously.

Edward just stood thoughtfully, and then broke any respect I had for his maturity. "She thought you were the best looking..." he teased.

"You jealous, Edward?" I pulled an over exaggerated pout and then laughed.

Emmett doubled over momentarily, laughing at the scowl that appeared like an automated reaction on Edward's face. I heard Rosalie giggling down the hall too.

Edward simply flexed his jaw. "I believe Alice's _exact_ words were-"

"Okay," I threw the ball at him as hard as I could. Of course, he caught it. "Time for you to leave now..."

He threw the ball back. "Fine…" Then he turned to Emmett. "You owe me my iPod..."

It was quiet only for only a few seconds after they left because Emmett reopened the door slightly and poked his head back in. "Just in case you're interested, Alice is working from opening until closing tomorrow. They open at noon and lunch is probably most ideal time to-" and then his head quickly disappeared right before my tennis ball collided with the suddenly closed door.


End file.
